I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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