First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
