1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize