you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
