Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize