He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
