Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
