she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
