Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
they're like a gay fantastic four
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
