P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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