i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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