Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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