On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets