Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.