whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.