You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came