He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
