ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
this is an emotional support booty call
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
