I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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