If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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