@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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