If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
