i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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