buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
