i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
