ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
