Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
