She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
