Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dicks are not precious.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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