I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
