My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
