When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
