I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
