just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
