it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So here I am, sexting at work.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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