So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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