Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
