his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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