How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
