five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We left an ass print on the piano.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize