White coat. Heels.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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