whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She announced her abortion via fbk
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
