So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
