you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.