He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
