Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
