She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
