hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
