I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
