she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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