Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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