My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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