so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
