He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
do nipples grow back?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
