There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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