don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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