It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The air taste purple.
Randomize