how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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