coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
