haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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