he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
